Here’s a brief summary of the highlights and lowlights of Strat-O-Matic’s new football ratings:

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! WR Fitzgerald’s big-time catches with big-time yards; this could be his best card yet … Beanie Wells’ Long Gain on #3 and +71 on #12 for ER Wrong

 

Oh No! The ORT and RG turns the OL ugly

 

Oh Yeah! 6s for DLE Campbell and SS Wilson; solid outside pass rush

 

Oh No! Gimme Shelter! The Long Pass 0 Men is a nuclear disaster. There is no alignment possible that will discourage offenses from throwing against these D cards.

 

Oh Yeah! Patrick Peterson’s PR TD on #4. Excellent punting

 

Oh No! +9, +17, LG punt coverage

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Michael Turner’s OT Wrong: Long Gain on #3, +81 and +53 … ORT Clabo (7,6) leads pass-block unit with two 7s, four 5s … WR Julio Jones’ explosive yardage           

 

Oh No! Almost all of Turner’s yards are on big plays; he has heavy losses Right and Wrong

 

Oh Yeah! 6s for MLB Lofton, LCB Grimes

 

Oh No! About that LP 0 Men card – move your free safety and be accused of arson … DRE Abraham needs more pass-rush help than he will get

 

Oh Yeah! +1, +2, +3 punt coverage and strong placekicking

 

Oh No! Blocked punt and unexciting kick returns

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! The run game is deep with HBs Stewart and Williams, QB Newton and blockers Kalil and Gross. Stewart is a threat on all runs, and Newton is a passing threat … WR Steve Smith is a terror with LGs in every column … C Kalil is 7,6 and LT Gross is 5,6

 

Oh No! Newton’s Must Run is better than his passing when guessed Right

 

Oh Yeah! Charles Johnson’s (1*)12 pass rush is the only highlight

 

Oh No! Poor vs. the run and Average to Poor vs. the pass looks plain Poor with two 0s in the secondary. How do you like Short Gains on both #7 and #8 for LB 0 Men? Thought so. The End Run is scarier.            

 

Oh Yeah! Kealoha Pilares’ KR TD … 17 Touchback chances … Jason Baker’s punting (still 42 yd at #9)

 

Oh No! The Panther kickers better be good, because the coverage is terrible

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! HB Forte gets steady yards and big runs inside and out, doesn’t fumble and is a legit pass-receiver, Flat and Short

 

Oh No! The OL is no help: three 0s and two 4s for run blocking; two 2s and two 3s for pass blocking … All but Forte have iffy hands; only Hester has a LG … If you sit Forte and QB Cutler when they really missed games, this offense plays only for FGs

 

Oh Yeah! Excellent run D creates fumbles and limits yards … 6s at RE, LLB, MLB and three 5s

 

Oh No! What passes for an Average pass D would have been Very Poor in other years

 

Oh Yeah! Devin Hester is back! (PR TD on roll #4 and a 95-yd. KR) … K Gould’s FG is 2-7 from 50-57 yards … 20 touchback chances … Strong punting and superb coverage

 

Oh No! The problems are minor: -2 in net penalties, a 13-yd punt at #12

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Awesome: QB Romo’s best card works at any distance … Rookie HB Murray has 16 chances of Short Gain or better on End Run Wrong (including Long Gain) and 12 Off Tackle (including +91) … TE Witten and three good WRs will keep the D guessing

 

Oh No! Rookie RT Tyron Smith (5,5) is the best on a rebuilt OL with two 0 run-blockers

 

Oh Yeah! Doesn’t get better than ROLB Ware: a 6 with (12*)12 pass rush … NT Ratliff (6)

 

Oh No! A 0 (FS) and three 4s in the secondary

 

Oh Yeah! Solid kick coverage and placekicking

Oh No! -5 net penalties, a blocked punt, only 13 touchbacks and pedestrian returners

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Stafford is as good SP and LP Right as some other QBs are Wrong … WR Calvin Johnson’s +51 play chances or better: 4 FP, 7 SP, 13 LP … Left side of OL has a pair of 7,5 blockers … HB Kevin Smith’s revival in the Wrong columns

 

Oh No! The run game won’t get the tough yards Right

Oh Yeah! MLB Tulloch (6) and strong pass-rushing DE’s … The Good run D is mostly in the fumbles and DL ratings

 

Oh No! The Poor pass D has zero blank chances on SP 0 Men and only 5 chances with 4 Men

 

Oh Yeah! Jason Hanson still kicks: 2-6, 11, 12 FG up to 54 yards and 17 touchbacks …Graham’s punting is strong, too

 

Oh No! Poor returners will put Lions at disadvantage every game … Long Gain on punt coverage … 15 penalty chances will bring back too many big plays

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! QB Rodgers and big-play WRs Jennings, Nelson and Jones will force the D to guess Pass all day against this quick-strike offense

 

Oh No! The runners won’t discourage those Pass calls

 

Oh Yeah! Good to Excellent run D creates fumbles … A 6 (Woodson) and a 5 at CB will have to save a pass D that won’t deter anyone from throwing

 

Oh No! Absurd DL pass rush (0, 2, 2) hurts an already-atrocious pass D

 

Oh Yeah! Cobb’s TDs on PR and KR … +6 penalty advantage … Excellent punting

 

Oh No! Poor punt coverage (+17, +10, LG)

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Three fine runners: Adrian Peterson, Toby Gerhart and dangerous HB-WR Percy Harvin, who has 17 chances for Short Gain or better OT Wrong and 18 ER Wrong

 

Oh No! Rookie QB Ponder is an INT waiting to happen, Right or Wrong … and only Harvin is a receiving threat

 

Oh Yeah! RE Jared Allen is a beast: a 6 with (9*)12 pass rush … Good run D boasts another 6 in RT Kevin Williams and three 5s at LB.

 

Oh No! Pass every play on this team and enjoy pinball. The Very Poor pass D has three 0s in the secondary, doesn’t pick ‘em, nor defend ‘em. Even the Flat Pass has no blanks

 

Oh Yeah! Kluwe’s awesome punting (still 41 yds at #10)

Oh No! Long Gains on both kickoff and punt coverage … only 8 touchbacks

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! QB Brees can demoralize any D, Right or Wrong … HB Sproles has 17 chances Short Gain or better OT Wrong and 18 ER Wrong … They have big help from three 7,6 OL at RG, LG and LT … Catch-and-yardage hog TE Graham and four WRs have LGs.

 

Oh No! Worrying about anything else is just greedy

 

Oh Yeah! Good to Excellent run D causes fumbles … No 0s (but no 6s)

Oh No! Very Poor pass D has 0 blanks on SP 3 Men and only 3 on LP 0 Men (with Long Gains everywhere else) … DE Will Smith’s 7 is only pass-rush better than 3 among starters

 

Oh Yeah! Sproles’ PR TD and 92-yd KR … 23 touchbacks … +3 penalty advantage … superb punt coverage

 

Oh No! Blocked punt … Long Gain on KO coverage

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Only Green Bay has a better deep-passing game … The most fearsome big-play WR in the set, Victor Cruz scores from everywhere, Right or Wrong, with +68, +68, +72, +72, +74, +99 and 26 LG chances, meaning big-play WRs Nicks and Manningham will be single-teamed. HB Jacobs can go deep, too.

 

Oh No! The big runs just aren’t there and the run blocking has gone to seed with no 6s and 5s only at RG and BB … Manning’s INTs Right a concern with such little run game

 

Oh Yeah! Jason Pierre-Paul: a 6 with (4*)12 pass rush … SS Phillips is a 6, too

 

Oh No! Nothing else to be proud about for a franchise usually proud of its D

 

Oh Yeah! Very strong kicking game, especially Weatherford’s punting (still 41 yds at #10) … +3 penalty advantage

 

Oh No! Gutless punt returns and boring kickoff returns

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah!  QB Vick runs wild with 20 chances of Short Gain or better on ER Wrong and +53, +25, +24 and +11 on Must Run … TD-making HB McCoy has 18 chances of +20 or better Wrong and 13 chances of Short Gain or better Right … LT Jason Peters (7,6)

                       

Oh No! Vick’s passing inconsistency in a division with Romo and Manning                       

 

Oh Yeah! Better than average pass completions, four 5s on the DL with sack-happy DE’s Babin at (7*)12 and Cole at (1*)12 … A 6 (Samuel) and a 5 at CB.           

 

Oh No! Few takeaways … Two 0s and a 4 at LB           

 

Oh Yeah! Elite punt coverage … K Henery is good 2-9, 12 from 49 yards           

 

Oh No! Blocked punt, poor kick returners           

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Versatile runner Steven Jackson has everything but the long breakaways           

Oh No! RG Harvey Dahl (5,5) is the only OL who can block … Call the receivers the Swiss cheese unit for all the blanks in the Wrong columns 

 

Oh Yeah! The pass D cards are the best in the NFC, despite low INTs, and DE Chris Long’s (1*)12 leads a            decent pass rush

 

Oh No! The five 0s at all the primary pass coverage positions (two OLB, two CB, SS) … The run D desperately needs LB help

 

Oh Yeah! #2 PR Nick Miller’s TD

 

Oh No! Blocked punt and a Long Gain on punt coverage

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! No RB fumbles and QB Alex Smith’s low INTs … LT Joe Staley (5,6) and 5 run blockers at LG, C

 

Oh No! Worthless RG Adam Snyder (0,0) … Skill players are sound, but nothing special

 

Oh Yeah! Supreme run D … Five 6s (both ILBs), four 5s and super-sub rookie OLB Aldon Smith’s (5*)12 pass rush … the DL and secondary are all 6s and 5s (Justin Smith is a 6 at both DE and DT)

 

Oh No! Only four blank chances on SP 3 Men and three on LP 0 Men forces a tough choice for coaches

 

Oh Yeah! Ted Ginn Jr.’s KR and PR TDs … K David Akers: FG 2-7, 12 up to 55 yards, perfect PATs, 17 touchbacks

 

Oh No! Blocked punt is all that spoils Andy Lee’s awesome punting (still 50 yds at #9 and 42 yds at #11)

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! Beast Mode: Marshawn Lynch has Short Gains on #10 Right and Wrong across the card … WR Sidney Rice gets deep with the best of them

 

Oh No! QB Jackson is deadly on FP, but can kill his own team throwing downfield …Weak OL has no 5s or better for run or pass block

 

Oh Yeah! Average to Good vs. both run and pass … FS Earl Thomas (6) and six 5s, including three on the DL

 

Oh No! DE Clemons is the only DL who can pass rush (11) and he’s a base 0

 

Oh Yeah! P Jon Ryan (still 41 yds at #10)

 

Oh No! -5 penalty disadvantage and 17 total Seattle penalty chances … Long Gains on both kickoff and punt coverage

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! LT Donald Penn, RG Davin Joseph (both 7,6) … QB Freeman’s FP Wrong has no blanks and 13 chances for +10 or better

 

Oh No! RT Jeremy Trueblood (2,0) spoils strong pass-blocking OL … Bucs should lead in turnovers with Freeman’s INTs Right and the worst fumbling RBs in the NFL (automatic Right)

 

Oh Yeah! No love for this group, with no 6s, two 5s and no pass-rush studs

 

Oh No! Ole! Poor run D is worst in NFC with Short Gains at #s 7 and 8 on LB and ER and at #s 4 and 7 OT … Twin 0s at DT add insult

 

Oh Yeah! K Connor Barth: 2-10 through 49 yards and 23 touchbacks will give the D the help it needs … P Michael Koenen (still 40 yds at #10)

 

Oh No! -6 penalty disadvantage is worst in NFC … Long Gain on kickoff coverage

 

 

Offense:

Oh Yeah! LT Trent Williams’ 7 pass block … 56-carry HB Royster’s chances of Short Gain or better Wrong: 15 LB, 17 OT, 18 ER

 

Oh No! Run block: two 0s and four 4s from TE to LT … QB Rex Grossman is more Dog than Wonder … Not enough big plays from these skill players

 

Oh Yeah! The Good run D forces fumbles … Outside pass rush: LOLB Kerrigan (1*)12 and ROLB Orakpo (3*)12 with 7s at DE

 

Oh No! Lot of yards on these D cards

 

Oh Yeah! +4 penalty advantage … very good kickoff and punt coverage … P Sav Rocca (still 42 yds at #9)

 

Oh No! K Graham Gano can kick long (18 touchbacks and FG 2-6, 12 to 59 yds), but is only 2-7, 11, 12 unless Redskins get inside the 13 yd-line