2019 NFL Thrills and Chills, Part II

By Glenn Guzzo

Here’s a brief summary of the highlights and lowlights of Strat-O-Matic’s new football ratings:

BALTIMORE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! MVP Jackson is special. Don’t think we’ve ever seen a card like this: Guess Right and his max MR gets first-down yardage 2-7 (with +39, 30, 25). Guess Wrong and, unlike most max-MR guys, he can hurt you with his arm: 21 completes SP, 10 LP with INTs on #12. His ER Wrong has 18 runs of SG or better (with +47, 36, 29, 20) … TE Andrews: max SP/LP catches, goes deep well, 6 run block … 7,6 blockers Yanda (RG), Stanley (LT)
Oh No! Only Andrews offers much in FP/SP catches

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Good to Excellent run D, three 6s in the secondary, asterisk sacker Judon
Oh No! Like exciting plays? Just leave this LP zone empty

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Tucker FG good 2-10 up to 49 yds
Oh No! Blocked punt, long gain on KOR coverage

BUFFALO
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Complementary RBs Singletary (34 chances of SG or better), Gore (steady yards), Yeldon (pass-catching) … WR Brown’s max SP catches
Oh No! Only good play-callers need apply. Seldom-explosive offense will not make up for your lack of imagination.

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Good run D and pass D built mostly on defender grades (e.g. a 6 and three 5s in secondary; one 6 each for two of three LBs)
Oh No! Three 4s on DL

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KOR man Roberts will provide good field position
Oh No! Blocked punt, missed XP on 11, long gain in KOR coverage

CINCINNATI
Offense:
Oh Yeah! RB Mixon (34 chances of SG or better); WR Boyd (max FP/SP combos)
Oh No! Excuse me! All FIVE interior OL are 0 run blockers … 1-4 Receiver/QB fumbles … you never liked Andy Dalton so much as when you see his backup

Defense:
Oh Yeah! LE Dunlap, RT Atkins both 6s … Slot CB Dennard (5) salvages some of the secondary
Oh No! Poor vs run (no forced fumbles, serious yards) and pass (four 0s, three 4s in back seven’s coverage)

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KOR man Wilson: TD, at least 31 yds down to roll #10; excellent KOR, PR coverage; +4 penalty differential
Oh No! Nit-pick only: punt returns won’t go far

CLEVELAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Sexy Beckham-Landry WR tandem … Chubby RB with 40 chances of SG or better, 14 at least +21, at least +52 Wrong in each run (+88 and lg at #11 OT) …
7 pass blocking at C, LG … No Receiver/QB fumbles
Oh No! Send in the Clowns (er, Browns): 2,0 blocking at both RG, RT … Protection, Mayfield’s card make passing precarious

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Five guys can play some: Four 5s and LE Garrett’s 10 pass rush
Oh No! Sixless D … Hear the D coordinator scream: “Tackle the MAN or the BALL, at least one!” … AND 0 coverage at LLB, RLB, SS, RCB

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Good KOR, PR coverage
Oh No! Missed XP 10-12 … blocked punt … -4 penalty differential

DENVER
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Run, Lindsay, Run: RB’s 30 chances for SG or better … Exciting WR Sutton has max LP combos
Oh No! OL: three 4s, two 0s for the run; 3s at both tackles in pass protect … Other than Sutton, the iffy QBs get help only from WR Patrick in LP, TE Fant in SP, RB Freeman in FP

Defense:
Oh Yeah! 66 FS Simmons … Three LBs with 5 or 6 run D … 6 NT Purcell
Oh No! 0 RCB D. Harris … LOLB Miller loses his asterisk; LCB C. Harris loses his 6

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! FG good 2-6, 12 up to 54 yds
Oh No! long gain on PR coverage

HOUSTON
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Star WR Hopkins (max FP/SP + 2-tmd catches) and two max-LP WRs (Fuller, Stills) … RB Hyde OT: +58 and lg on #3
Oh No! 0 run blocking at both guards, TE, BB … pass block shaky, too

Defense:
Oh Yeah! 6 NT Reader … Mercilus rush (10)
Oh No! Yikes! No blanks in SP 3 Men w/LG on #4: Very Poor pass D defined … 00 at LOLB

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Great coverage on KOR (+14/10/15) and PR (+1/2/3)
Oh No! Missed XP 10, 11

INDIANAPOLIS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! LG Nelson (7,6), LT Castonzo (7,5), RT Smith (4,6) … RB Mack’s 30 chances of SG or better
Oh No! Brissett’s poor LP, lackluster everything else … lackluster receivers, too

Defense:
Oh Yeah! LLB Leonard: 66 and asterisk pass rush
Oh No! Poor pass D due to 0s at both CB

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! #2 PR Hines: TD on roll #4 … PR coverage: +4/3/7 … +4 penalty differential
Oh No! Viniateri FG good only 2-5,11,12 from 23-32 yd line

JACKSONVILLE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Fournette’s breakaway runs: +81, +69, +66; also lg at #4 OT … Breakout year for WR Chark (max LP combos, LG’s everywhere) … C Linder, LG Norwell = 7 in pass protect … Solid-not great Minshew the Moustache can make some magic. He will need it, because …
Oh No! TEs and RBs offer little help receiving; none go deep … RG Cann (2,0) among three 0 run-blockers, two pass protectors with 2 or 3

Defense:
Oh Yeah! LE Campbell: 6 w/8 pass rush
Oh No! This D will get plenty of playing time: Tough time getting off the field with Poor run D (two run 0s at LB and two more at safety will just make this gash-worthy card worse); Jags may be worst at takeaways

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Superb kick coverage: +10/11/12 KOR, +1/4/3 PR … Lambo FG: 2-6, 12 up to 56 yds, at least 2-10 everywhere else
Oh No! Shanksonville: An 11-yard punt

KANSAS CITY
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Most explosive pass offense in game w/Magic Man Mahomes (26 SP, 15 LP completes Wrong), TWO receivers with 2-tmd catches (TE Kelce, incendiary WR Hill), four deep threats and three 7 pass blockers … In on the act: RB Damien Williams: +91and +84 … RT Schwartz (7,6)
Oh No! 0 run blocks at C, RG in base 3-WR offense

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Three 6s in LT Jones (w/10 pass rush), RE Clark (9 pass rush) and 65 SS Mathieu
Oh No! Average to Poor run D, LP card heavy on long gains may keep foes in game

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Hardman KOR TD … coverage on KOR (+15/12/21), PR (+1/2/3) … Butker’s consistently strong FGs
Oh No! Blocked punt, missed XP on 11

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Targets: 104-catch WR Allen (max FP/SP + 2-tmd catches); WR Williams (max LP and tied for most LGs in set), TE Henry (max SP), WR/RB Ekeler (max FP w/+84 LP catch) … Pass blocking for a change: Two 7s, two 5s
Oh No! Run blocking: Three 0s, no 5s or 6s

Defense:
Oh Yeah! LE Bosa: 6 w/asterisk pass rush … 6 RCB Hayward
Oh No! Thou shall not steal: Poor run D cannot force fumbles

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! King PR TD
Oh No! long gain on KOR coverage

MIAMI
Offense:
Oh Yeah! WR Parker’s breakout year: Max SP/LP and the only LGs among team’s receivers … QB Fitzpatrick completes 20 SP and 14 LP Wrong – if he ever will pass Wrong (see below) … C Kilgore’s 7 pass block
Oh No! The run game is so pathetic that QB Fitzpatrick’s 4 rush TDs, long gain of 20 (on Must Run) are better than any of three carded RBs … They “run” behind 0 run blockers at both tackles, both guards and BB (the mis-named “guards” are only 2s as pass blockers, too)

Defense:
Oh Yeah! DRT Godchaux is a 5. Sorry, that’s as good as it gets on this defenseless team
Oh No! Poor run D (no forced fumbles and SG on #7 w/LB on all three runs), Very Poor pass D (SP: only blank on #12; LG on #4) w/no pass rusher higher than 6

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Grant KOR TD
Oh No! long gain on KOR coverage

NEW ENGLAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Brady still wings it: Deadly FP card, Wrong completes of 21 chances SP, 14 LP w/three 7 pass blockers
Oh No! Brady will get modest help from low-yardage runners (no long gains, few SG) and receivers (only WR Dorsett goes deep well, though WR Edelman has max FP/SP catches).

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Excellent pass D is best in set on card (good coverage, high INTs) and ratings (three 6s, three 5s in back seven and SEVEN DBs and FIVE LBs rated at least 4)
Oh No! “Good” run D will need LB help OT (SG on #7, 8 w/0 LB) and has two 4s and a 5 on the DL in base 3-4 (OLB Van Noy can move up to DE as a 5 for a 4-3)

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Punt coverage: +7/3/6
Oh No! Team’s Achilles heel: Missed XP 10,11; only 50-50 FG chance at 23 yd line; a 12-yd punt; poor kick returners (#2 PR man has better chance to fumble than return for positive yards)

NEW YORK JETS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! WR Anderson still a deep threat, WR Crowder a FP/SP possession guy and HB Bell solid for FP, but …
Oh No! That’s all, folks, making D calls easy against an offense with serious pass-block issues, INT-prone QB Darnold and not a single SG chance on the three HBs whose top gain is 19.

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Good to Excellent run D limits the yards on the cards and w/all three DL rated 5 … 66 SS Adams
Oh No! Wimpy pass rush (one 10, one 5, the rest 3s and 2), four 0s in back eight’s coverage make this pass D Poor

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Very good kick coverage
Oh No! Missed XP 10, 11

OAKLAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Rookie HB Jacobs OT: +51 and LG … TE Waller’s catches and yads make him a tough matchup at all depths … C-LG tandem Hudson-Incognito (both 7, 5)
Oh No! Not enough weapons for solid/unsensational QB Carr … 1-4 Receiver/QB fumbles

Defense:
Oh Yeah! Asterisk sacker rookie LE Crosby
Oh No! Very Poor pass D — no blanks on SP 3 Men w/LG on #4, LG-heavy LP, and no 5s or 6s in coverage (all three LBs are 0s)

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Cole’s 74-yd and 60-yd punts
Oh No! Worst-in-set -6 penalty differential … possibly the worst FG kicking in set … missed XP on 11 … an 11-yard punt

PITTSBURGH
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Serious deep-threat WR Washington (max catches, many LGs) … a pair of 7 pass blockers and 6 run blocking C Pouncey
Oh No! QB troubles mean offense troubles. Steelers may have the worst QB troubles in the set. Below-average RBs and receivers offer little escape

Defense:
Oh Yeah! THAT’s what I’m talkin’ about: In set with so many poor Ds, this one is outstanding … Excellent run D and Good to Excellent pass D … Highest-turnover D in set with strong cast of defenders: 66 FS Fitzpatrick, 5-5-6 DL, LOLB Watt (56 w/11* sacks), ROLB Dupree (7* sacks, pair of 5s at CB, rated subs at every level
Oh No! SS Edmunds (04) … There’s SG at both #7, 8 OT w/0 LB, but good run-D LBs can fill those gaps and it’s only +2 at #2 and only a 2 die roll for +15 at #4

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Diontae Johnson’s PR TD on roll #3 … Boswell’s placekicks are max ratings on XP, FGs to 49 yards
Oh No! Worst KOR returns in set. Accept all touchbacks.

TENNESSEE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Unless this offense meets Mr. Right on defense, it can humiliate foes. Surprise QB of the year Tannehill has the passing card to match: Strong at all depths, with 22 completes Wrong in SP, 13 in LP … He’ll get to use those columns with the most spectacular HB in the set: Henry has the power (SG Right at #6 across the card) and the explosion (51 chances for SG or better, with 11 for +23 or better, including +74, +68, +52 and a LG OT at #11) … 6 run blockers at both OT and C … Meanwhile, watch out for WR Brown’s max LP catches, a +91 and tied for most LGs (at all depths) in set.
Oh No! Shabby pass protection: 2-0-4-2-4 from RT to LT and 0 BB … poor receivers other than Brown

Defense:
Oh Yeah! 66 FS Byard, 65 ILB Brown, 5s at both CB, 5s at all three DL, asterisk pass-rusher Landry at ROLB
Oh No! Low takeaways and LGs everywhere a blank could be in LP 0 Men

Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! +4 penalty differential … Kern’s 70-yd and 61-yd punts
Oh No! FGs good only 2-6, 11, 12 outside the 12 yd line … Poor return men