Glanville Petitions League to Remove Run Differential Column from Standings
It appears District Manager Doug Glanville of the Baseball Daily Media Experts League is leaving no stone unturned. In an unprecedented effort (and we use the word "unprecedented" a lot when it comes to Glanville), he has written a 30-page argument to solicit petitioning rights to the Strat-O-Matic Baseball stats department.
He expects to win that right.
"This is not just about our team, this is about what is right. Run Differential is just a conspiracy to undercut hard work. America does not like that idea. In the end, I ask "who cares if teams outscore you every series?"
His goal is to have the Run Differential column eliminated from all "Standings."
"Every time I look at the standings, I get upset. I look at the last column and see our "run differential" comfortably in the negative, despite being in second place. I teach optimism around here. No one has the right to tell you that despite your winning, you really stink. I would rather go the opposite. Give each team the right to elect what to show in the last column in the standings. I choose "Number of pitchers with first name starting with the letter "V".
Run Differential is a simple calculation. Runs Scored less Runs Allowed. If you have been outscored on the season, it is a negative number. It also is perceived that your team will not sustain any success it has gained. In the case of District Glanville, who is 8 games over .500, their run differential sits at -18, projecting that they will eventually crash and burn.
"What the league and other teams have to understand is if we "crash and burn" as all the pundits predict, we will bring everyone down with us if we keep this run differential column."
When prompted as to how he would bring other teams down with them, Glanville scoffed, then replied, "By playing winning baseball, baby. And my new goal this year is to win the league with a -200 run differential. I doubt anyone has pulled that off in history. It would be an honor to turn a negative into a positive."
He is correct, no one has won a league with a -200 run differential.
And no one ever will.
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