2017 NFL Thrills and Chills, Part II
By Glenn Guzzo
Here’s a brief summary of the highlights and lowlights of Strat-O-Matic’s new football ratings:
BALTIMORE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! LT, LG are 7-rated pass blockers … RB Collins: 32 chances SG or better
Oh No! Say it ain’t so, Joe: Flacco’s flaccid passing … Missing Yanda: 0 run blockers at both G
Defense:
Oh Yeah! 6s at RE, FS and four 5s, plus big-time pass rush from OLBs Suggs, Judon
Oh No! A 0 and four 4s in back seven’s coverage
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PR TD and 87-yd KOR … superb KO coverage … Tucker: FG good 2-6, 11, 12 from 50-57 yds
Oh No! blocked punt
BUFFALO
Offense:
Oh Yeah! RB McCoy: long gain on OT and ER
Oh No! Keep your friends close: No long gain on any receiver card … Pass block 2 and 3 at tackles (with a 0 run block at RT)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! RE Hughes (6) … a 6 (SS Hyde) and three 5s in the secondary
Oh No! Sad sacks: Nobody higher than 5 on pass rush … 0s in coverage at both OLB
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Strong punting + superb coverage … Hauschka: FG good 2-7, 12 from 50-56 yds
Oh No! Walk, don’t run: longest KO return is 29 yds
CINCINNATI
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Enviable Green: WR w/max FP, SP + 2-tmd catches and both +77, +70 in LP … LG Boling (7,5)
Oh No! Boling only reliable OL (two 0 run blockers; 2 and 3 pass blockers)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! RT Atkins (6 w/10 pass rush)
Oh No! Two 0s, seven 4s in starting lineup
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! For Cinci, let’s just make this “Oh Yeah?”
Oh No! blocked punt, missed XP on 11 and long gain on punt coverage
CLEVELAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! WR Gordon: max LP catches … LG Bitonio (7,5)
Oh No! Whose side are they on? Foes catch more than Browns when Kizer throws deep Right … LT (0,0), RT (3,0)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Three 5s on DL
Oh No! No 5s or 6s in back seven … rookie FS Peppers has ratings like us (00)
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Um, let’s see – missed XP only on 12; no long gain on bad punt coverage
Oh No! blocked punt … long gain on KO coverage
DENVER
Offense:
Oh Yeah! WR Thomas: Max FP/SP catches
Oh No! LP won’t be a good call ever: Longest WR catch: +40 … RT (2), LG (3) can’t protect three shaky QBs from themselves.
Defense:
Oh Yeah! LOLB Von Miller (6 vs run, * sacker) … a 6 (LCB Talib) and 5 at the corners (a 5 at nickel back, too) and 5s at all three DL spots
Oh No! LB and safety coverage: Three 0s, three 4s
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! McManus FG good 2-6 from 50-54 yds
Oh No! blocked punt … long gains on both kickoff/punt coverages
HOUSTON
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Max catches at all depths +2-tmd catches: THAT’s an All-Pro – WR Hopkins … Throwing, running QB Watson can be the bomb – when INTs don’t blow up in his face
Oh No! Traitor LT Clark (2,0) in pitiful OL that tops out at LG (4,4)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! ROLB Clowney (6 vs run and * pass rush)
Oh No! No J.J. Watt; instead: a 0 at RE (with a 2 pass rush); 0s at RCB, SS in Very Poor pass D
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Fuller’s exciting punt returns … Big-time punter Lechler (still 44 yds at #10)
Oh No! Lechler out-kicked his coverage (+19/17/13) … XP miss at 11-12
INDIANAPOLIS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Max catches: WR Hilton LP, TE Doyle FP … LT Castonzo (5,6)
Oh No! Jail break! Pass block 3-0-2-2 from RT to LG (with 0 run blockers at both G) … Cry if you want to over RB Gore
Defense:
Oh Yeah! 6s at LE, NT
Oh No! LBs in coverage: three 0s and a 4; secondary: a 0 and two 4s
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Kickoffs: 31 deep kicks + fab coverage … Great punt coverage, too
Oh No! blocked punt, XP miss on 11-12
JACKSONVILLE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Fournette: +90 OT, long gain ER … Pass blocking: Three 7s, three 5s
Oh No! Don’t get behind: This offense will have a very tough time guessed Right
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Sacksonville: Two asterisk pass rushers outside, a 10 at LT and a 10 sub … 6s at both CB … eight 6s and 5s in all, led by RE Campbell (6 w/* pass rush)
Oh No! RT Jones (a 4 with 3 pass rush) is as bad as it gets on this superior D
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PR TD
Oh No! blocked punt … XP miss 11-12 … long gain on KO coverage
KANSAS CITY
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Good hands people: Breakaway RB Hunt (long gain on ER #10), explosive TE Kelce (max FP/SP, almost max LP+ 2-tmd catches) and WR Hill (max LP and 28 chances across card of long gain or better), career-best QB Smith … RT Schwartz (7,6)
Oh No! 0 run block at C
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Coverage 6s at LCB (Peters), RILB (Johnson); * pass rush at LOLB (Houston)
Oh No! 0s at RCB, FS; practically non-existent pass rush on DL and at ILB
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PR TD … best combo of XP, FG, KO, punt, and both coverages in set
Oh No! -5 penalty differential
LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Rivers’ best deep-passing card in set … He can do it w/little risk behind pass block 7s at RT, RG, C, LT … WR Allen: max FP, SP + 2-tmd catches
Oh No! OL will not help ground running game: All 0s and 4s
Defense:
Oh Yeah! LCB Hayward (6) leads a secondary with three 5s … sacks without blizting: DE’s Bosa (*), RE Ingram (11) – they are 5s vs. the run, too
Oh No! Shaky LB crew without a 5 vs. the run, pass or pass rush anywhere
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PR TD … Kaser’s punting (still 50 yds at #7, 43 yds at #10) + strong coverage
Oh No! Wide left: XP miss 10-11; FG good only 2-4, 11, 12 from 40-49 yds
MIAMI
Offense:
Oh Yeah! RB Drake’s getaway card (esp. long gain at #11 ER, +66 OT) … WR Landry max FP/SP catches … 7 pass block at C, RT
Oh No! Drake will get it on his own behind this wall of china (that’s a lower-case “c”): 0 run blockers at TE, RG, LG, LT
Defense:
Oh Yeah! LT Suh (6); pass-rushing LE Wake (*)
Oh No! In back seven’s coverage, resistance is futile (three 0s, four 4s)
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Fine KO, punt coverage
Oh No! XP miss 11-12
NEW ENGLAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Brady: most SP completions Right; most LP completions Wrong … throw w/confidence: Two 7s, three 5s for pass block … The Gronk is a scary sight w/2-tmd catches, BIG yards … Run, too, w/Lewis (31 chances SG or better across card) behind tow 6s (Gronk again), three 5s
Oh No!
Defense:
Oh Yeah! RCB Gilmore, 5s at both safeties
Oh No! In this 4-3, DL pass rush rates are 6-2-2-1, with no 6 run stuffers
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KR TD … superb KO, punt coverage
Oh No! Only 20 deep-kickoff chances, but that was strategy (see coverage above)
NEW YORK JETS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Max catches: WR Anderson LP, TE Sefarian-Jenkins FP … RB Powell: long gain on LB #10, +75 on OT #12
Oh No! OL can’t pass block inside or run block outside (0 at both OT)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! RILB Davis (56 w/8 pass rush)
Oh No! Three 0s and a 4 in the secondary
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Strong punting (70 long, still 41 yds at #10) … excellent KO coverage
Oh No! long gain on punt coverage
OAKLAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! OL w/three 7-rated pass blockers and a 6 and three 5s for run block
Oh No! Oops! – automatic RB fumbles Right … RT Newhouse (2,0) STILL can’t block
Defense:
Oh Yeah! LE Mack (a 6 w/11 pass rush, RLB Irvin (* pass rush)
Oh No! In coverage, 0s at FS, SS, LCB, LLB
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! 30 deep-kickoff chances and superb coverage … strong punting (still 42 yds at #10) and coverage (+6/2/3)
Oh No! Cowardly punt returns
PITTSBURGH
Offense:
Oh Yeah! THREE 7,6 blockers at RG, C, LT … TWO max LP WRs (Brown, Smith-Schuster) … JuJu’s +97 (and +69 + heavy long gains)
Oh No! Only the WRs can go deep, making D calls easier
Defense:
Oh Yeah! LE Heyward (5 vs. run w/12 pass rush) … Three LBs w/double-digit sack ratings
Oh No! Oh-Oh SS Davis (00)
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KR TD … 30 deep-kickoff chances … Boswell FG good 2-6, 12 from 50-54 yds
Oh No! Missed XP on 11
TENNESSEE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Underrated TE Walker (max FP catches and decent at all depths) … LT Lewan (5,6), three 5-rated run blockers, a 7 pass block at RG
Oh No! Off-the-Marcus Mariota: More INTs than completions LP Right
Defense:
Oh Yeah! FS Byard (66), RE Casey (6), both ILB 6s vs. the run
Oh No! In coverage, SS Cyrpien (0) and nothing better than 4 at four LB positions
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Leg man Kern’s punting (74 long, still 41 yds at #11) with strong coverage
Oh No! Only 18 deep-kickoff chances … Missed XP on 11
Shop Now
