2023 NFL Thrills and Chills, Part II
By Michael Kane
Here’s a brief summary of the highlights and lowlights of Strat-O-Matic’s new football ratings:
BALTIMORE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Mitchell 43 combos GW for SG or better, Jackson solid FP and SP with 18 MR combos, 11 combos complete LPW
Oh No! Mitchell only has 47 carries, Jackson only 3 comp LPR
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Best overall fumble chances in set, 3 double digit pass rushers, Good to Excellent vs Run
Oh No! but inside linebackers need to move up to limit SG chances
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Punt returners #1 70 yd on 2, #2 has TD on 4, #2 kick returner averages 42 yards
Oh No! Blocked punt, Tucker missed XP, punt defense 17/16/LG
BUFFALO
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Fumbles GR on 2,12, O-line pass blocking 5-5-5-7-7 with 7 BB, Allen 15 combos LPW
Oh No! Allen interception chances on 10 FP and SP, on 9 LP
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Two 12* pass rushers on d-line, 3 fives in the SP zone
Oh No! Average to Poor vs the run, linebackers need to move to minimize damage
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! #2 punt returner has TD, 70 yard punt
Oh No! Where to begin, missed XP, kicker 2-10 to only the 22, LG for both punt and kick coverage, worst punt return defense in the set
CINCINNATI
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Burrow int on #12, Browning capable backup, fumble chance only 2 guessed right, 0 QB/WR fumble
Oh No! Two threes and a 2 pass block, Mixon ineffective guessed right
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Hendricks 12*5, Hilton 6 slot corner
Oh No! Both corners are 0, front seven only has 1 five vs run so moving LBs might not help Average to Poor run card which doesn’t force many fumbles either.
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! #1 punt return TD on 2, McPherson 2-10 or better to 32, KR coverage 10/11/12
Oh No! Both punt returners will have their hand in the air quite a bit
CLEVELAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Chubb a great computer only what if card, 2 sevens and a five pass blocking, Bitonio 6/7
Oh No! A record 5 quarterbacks, none very good, Willis a 0/2 at key LT position
Defense:
Oh Yeah Garrett 6/12*7, best interception chances in set, defense Good to Excellent vs run and Good vs Pass
Oh No! Not much pass rush outside of Garrett
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! 73 yd punt, +3 penalty differential
Oh No! XP 2-10, KR Def #12 LG
DENVER
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Wilson maxxed FPW, run to the right – center to TE are 5 or better,
Oh No! No homerun run threat, long run is a capped 38 yards, pass block has three twos
Defense:
Oh Yeah! A pair of 12*1, one of the better teams at forcing fumbles
Oh No! Average to Poor vs run, Poor vs pass, three of the four LBs are zero vs pass
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KR TD on #3, only back, 33 chances for a touchback
Oh No! Missed XP on #11, Lutz FG 2-8,11,12 23-32
HOUSTON
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Stroud 27 SP GW, 15 LP GW, Tunsil 6/7, Pass block three fives and a seven
Oh No! Longest run only 24 yards, run block two fours and two zeroes
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Corners 5 and 6, Greenard 12*4
Oh No! Both DT are zeroes, nearly 13 automatic LG in LP 0 men,
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KR #1 TD on 3, KR #2 TD on 2, PR defense 6/5/4
Oh No! Missed XP on 11, lots of fair catches for punt returns
INDIANAPOLIS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Moss and Taylor can both go the distance, two seven pass blockers
Oh No! QB/WR fumble 4, QB and RB struggle guessed correctly
Defense:
Oh Yeah! DE are 12*1 plus an 11 on the bench,
Oh No! CBs are 4 vs pass, both safeties are zero,
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Not much, 28 touchback chances on kickoff
Oh No! KR #2 long only 22, missed XP on 12 KR Defense 38/34/24 PR Defense 13/14/12
JACKSONVILLE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Lawrence maxxed FPW, 10+ yard average must run, 2 seven pass blockers
Oh No! QB/Wr Fum 1-5, o-line fours and zeroes, backs aren’t much help either
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Two 12* linebackers, three linebackers are a 6 vs run,
Oh No! Zero RCB, very little pass rush other than two asterisk linebackers, pass defense Poor
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Plus 4 penalty difference, best in set, Punt Return Defense 4/6/3
Oh No! Kick Return Defense 31/33/LG
KANSAS CITY
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Mahomes 8 LG combos LPW, RB only fumble on split chance 2 GR, Kelce best TE card in set and has 2tmd combos, pass block three sevens and two fives plus Pacheco a seven
Oh No! QB/WR fumble 1-5, both OT zero run block
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Karlaftis and Jones 12*1 pass rush, both CB are six, LBs 6-5-5 vs run
Oh No! Both safeties are 44, among the worst at forcing turnovers run and pass
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! 32 touchback chances, Butker 2-10 FG to 43 yard line
Oh No! Kick return defense 42/43/33
LAS VEGAS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Garoppolo maxxed FPW, RB low fumble chances guessed right, no fumble chances guessed wrong, QB/WR fumble 0, o-line 5-4-5-4-5 run block, 4 fives and a seven pass blocking
Oh No! Unfortunately the QBs make up for those low fumble chances with big interception numbers
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Crosby 6/12*4
Oh No! Both CB are 4, run defense Average to Poor
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! 83 yard punt
Oh No! Punt return defense 18/14/10, Carlson FG 2-5,11,12 33 to 37
LOS ANGELES -AFC
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Herbert 9 LG combos LPW, two 7 pass blockers and a five
Oh No! Only TE and LT aren’t a zero and are only fours
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Mack 12*10, Gilman 65 SS, both OLB are six vs run
Oh No! 0 RCB, Poor vs pass, low turnover chances
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Punt return TD #1 back on 3, 31 touchback chances,
Oh No! 10 yard punt
MIAMI
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Tua maxxed FPW, 21 SP combos wrong, Mostert 28 combos for SG or better guessed wrong, Achane 42 combos
Oh No! Maybe the only thing that can stop this offense, Tua’s interceptions guessed right
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Chubb 12*3, Holland 66 SS, Ramsey 6 RCB
Oh No! Slot corner 0, pass defense Average to Poor, free safety needs to stay home
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! 31 touchback chances which is good because…
Oh No! Kick return defense 50/47/LG, Punt return defense 16/13/LG, missed XP on 12
NEW ENGLAND
Offense:
Oh Yeah! O-Line is all fours and fives, Jones maxxed FPW…
Oh No! but not real good short or long with high int chances, Zappe is worse, Zeke’s long run is 17, yikes!
Defense:
Oh Yeah! LBs are fives and sixes vs run with one of the best set of cards yardage-wise in the set
Oh No! Zero LCB, minimal pass rush, low turnover numbers
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KR #2 had TD on #11, best KR defense in set 21/17/12
Oh No! Missed XP on #12, FG chances 2-8 from 13 to 22 yards
NEW YORK JETS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Hall is explosive guessed wrong, a pair of 5 pass blockers on the left side
Oh No! A trio of QBs who won’t help Hall be guessed wrong
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Front 7 all 5 or better pass rushers with a 12*2 off the bench, CBs 6 and 5 plus a slot 6
Oh No! Run defense is Average to Poor
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PR #2 has TD on #2
Oh No! PR #2 has verry little else, missed XP on #11, punt return defense TD on #12, worst penalty differential at minus 5
PITTSBURGH
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Harris is decent guessed right, both guards are seven pass blockers, Pickens has 12 LG combos LPW
Oh No! O-line only has one run blocker 5 or better, Rudolph has best card but limited attempts
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Watt 12*12, LBs 6-5-5-5 vs the run…
Oh No! Run defense cards are going to force you to move them to the line
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Boswell 2-9, 12 from 23 to 40
Oh No! Missed XP on #12, KR defense 38/36/24, 14 yard punt
TENNESSEE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Henry and Spears will keep the defense honest and rarely fumble
Oh No! Tannehill and Levis struggle with the long ball
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Landry 12*3, Autry an 11
Oh No! Both starting outside CBs are zeroes, low turnovers,
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Folk 2-9 33 to 37 yards
Oh No! XP miss on #11, only 17 KO touchback chances
Shop Now
